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Just curious what people here think about drug/alcohol use during play. Not sure if this is a taboo discussion on this site... If so admin(s) please delete.
Personally I don't do hard drugs, but I think having a few drinks and a bit of r**fer adds to the intense feelings of my 'fun time'. :eek::dont:
I can only speak for alcohol here, and I must say a drink or two doesn't seem to hurt anything. In fact, it tends to wipe out the annoying ADD litany of useless thoughts in my head and lets me go right to the, erm, more interesting ones...
It's a fine line, however. One too many and suddenly the pain to pleasure sensations don't seem to happen.
If you're doing edgy stuff, diminished capacity can be dangerous.
The top can make a mistake. The bottom can fail to realize they've been physically injured.
I'd stay away from it.
That's why we have Doms, always about the safety. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
Speaking as an alcoholic who's been sober for several years and has never engaged in any D/s activities while under the influence, let me say...Quote:
Originally Posted by DowntownAmber
...it isn't necessary. Not one bit. If alcohol (or drugs) is what removes someone's inhibitions and allows them to enjoy themselves more fully, perhaps an examination of why that is so would be helpful. Believe me, D/s with an always clear head rocks. :) And what a charge for the Dom to know that His sober, rational submissive can be reduced to a babbling, begging, cumming, laughing, out-of-her-head sex toy through only His own efforts and influence.
:D
Amen.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
For sure safety is a concern when involving substances. Obviously any blood play should never be combined with a drug that reduces your ability to clot. NSAIDs and alcohol included. I don't do blood stuff but accidents happen. Impaired decision making is also a concern.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
Good point Amber, certainly wouldn't want to diminish either of these!Quote:
Originally Posted by DowntownAmber
You're right on here. I guess personally it's not about removing inhibitions but being in a different head space.Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanne;
:D
Necessary? No. You're right there. And if alcohol or another drug is the only way you can relax into BDSM activities? Yeah, that's a problem. Falling down drunkenness? Also, not attractive.Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanne
However, I'm still not convinced a couple of drinks is even remotely a problem.
It doesn't make BDSM any better or any worse, it's just a slightly different headspace for it.
Bingo.Quote:
Originally Posted by openwide
i definetly say no. if i am going to do something i want to be able to be present and i want him to be also. Yeah a few drinks can lightly things up but it can also be those few drinks that can cause severe damage in lets in wax play. ...but whatever people want to do then okay thats on them....but for me its a no
I suppose, since I don't drink or anything else, that I don't understand the concept of 'different headspaces'. I only have one as a submissive...and find the delight and happiness lies in the process of falling further and further into it as well as the varying degrees of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by DowntownAmber
Ah well...everyone's different, that's for sure!
:wave:
I'm also thinking about "simple" things like motor control. Swinging a paddle and accidently letting it turn in your hand, and striking edge on. Deep tissue bruising is a concern. So is breaking or cracking bones, and the ass is awfully close to the spine...Quote:
Originally Posted by openwide
Cutting and slipping.
Wax play and burning.
Bondage and not realizing circulation is cut off.
These and more require excellent coordination. Think about how hard "accuracy" sports are and how much harder they are inebrieated, even a little bit.
Now, elsewhere, I've said there's nothing wrong with domming under the influence, but also that such times are great for letting the sub serve and service. So, choose your scening wisely when drinking or smoking.
I am new to playing. I get very very very nervous. Dom says im so jumpy, fidgety, shaky and rigid that i make him nervous lol So for me a few drinks and some time to just sit before beginning is a must. Def intend to do it without drinks in the future though
one drink or one glass of wine is fine. NEVER more than that. safety above all. Drugs are just a no-no. non negotiable. just my opinion. *shrugs*
i personally won't touch "mind altering" substances and neither does Master. i mean occasionally when we're at a social get-together W/we'll have a little wine or champaigne but aside from that W/we just prefer not to, just don't like the taste. Technically seeing as i'm 18 and He's 19 W/we shouldn't be drinking at all, but this is Texas and if ya ain't chasin the keg as soon as yer old enough to run then ya got a problem lol. so yeah i totally got off topic but in my opinion getting high/drunk is disgusting and there are so many cooler ways to die. not gonna start preaching, to each his own,but i definetly would avoid it in bdsm for safety reasons.
Would i get in a car with someone who had been drinking or doing drugs? No...
So... why would i let someone try a paddle, flogger, knife, open flame, wax play, breath play or anything else around/on me after they have been drinking...
Unless there is a "Designated Dom/me" to call upon at that point the answer would be no thank you... i cherish me to much to risk something with that set of circumstances.
And that being said... if the Dominate can't control their alcohol intake i wouldn't want them to be in control of me. Control has to come from within before it can be shared... at least imo.
so so trueQuote:
Originally Posted by annie
Well said, annie! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by annie
Personally, I don't see a problem with having a drink before play. I don't suffer from ADD or ADHD, per se, but as one who is generally tightly wound....it helps me relax. This is coming from someone who doesn't drink on a regular basis. I'm perfectly able to enjoy activities without alcohol, but I see nothing wrong with drinking in moderation. As far as smoking anything besides cigarettes, it renders me completely useless and flaccid, and it really has never been my "thing."
I want myself and my girl to both be entirely present and not under the influence of anything chemical that would alter our realities or affect her ability to consent.
Frankly, if you need drugs and alcohol in order to get anything out of BDSM, you might be doing it wrong. lol It is entirely mind altering, all on its own.
:rolleyes: Hmmm... The Designated Dominant.Quote:
Originally Posted by annie
I kinda think that's a sexy title. :blurp_ani
*laughs and adds Oz to the "Designated Dominant" List...*Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
LOL. Sign me up too Annie.
Just had to stop by and watch this thread's progress.
It would appear as if the BDSM comunity is a relatively "straight edge" crowd.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuskovian
Perhaps... if for no other reason, when we do read of a lifestyle death, it's usually because someone was doing something stupid, or they were drunk and doing something stupid. :rolleyes:
Maybe cuz W/we get enough of a rush from BDSM already. i know i'm an adrenaline addict so i perform and i play scenes with Master and that curbs the craving so to speak.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuskovian
A straight edge kinky crowd that is!Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuskovian
Add's Kuskovian's name to the DD's list.... :D
:) Exactly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Euryleia
Wow, this really opened a can of worms. I'm psyched to read all the different opinions. I guess I'm surprised mostly by how many people here condemn the use of substances while doing what it is we do, or even altogether. I totally understand where you're coming from. As someone who's new to this scene I would have suspected that as a community of people who are so open minded and liberated that there would be more alcohol and or drug use. (perhaps I'm being closed minded here)
Those of you who made the point that if one needs to be in an altered state to enjoy something then one has problems, you are absolutely right.
And those who made the point that if someone can't control their intake then one should stay way away; you too are absolutely correct.
The point I'd like to make is that it's not so black and white! JEESH!
I sometimes have a drink or two while doing what it is we do. Sometime I take a toke, sure but I'm not getting wasted or being out of control. And no, I don't play this way all the time and I certainly don't need this in order to enjoy myself. But, on occasion, when I do, it is different and enjoyable and I'm definitely not ashamed of it. Not trying to preach at all just sharing.
Anyone else agree?
I'm sorry if this offends or disgusts anyone. Know that not all who partake are getting sloppy drunk or sitting stoned playing video games and eating pizza all the time. There are many who enjoy responsibly and in moderation while living full lives.
i'm not saying you can't enjoy a drink or something it's just i personally am grossed out by drugs and alcohol. Not just cuz it's bad for ya but cuz i just don't like the taste/smell plus it makes me really really sick. To each their own.
Point to ponder: a few folks have pointed out that if we are looking to "mind altering" substances to enjoy ourselves, then we need to examine where that need comes from. If one can't have fun on a clear head, then that's not a good thing.
Then we have folks that are pointing out (quite correctly, IMO) that BDSM is mind altering all by itself. I know, for me at least, this is true: I have gotten a better high off subspace than any amount of drug or alcohol I've ever taken.
Soooo... We all do in some way, it seems, need our minds altered and our otherwise clear heads fogged up a bit. Who's to say that this doesn't make our play as equally irresponsible as if we were taking a few shots beforehand?