Distraught, despair and depression!

[NaturalSub]

Hell!

My master and I have seperated. On Boxing day we decided that things just weren;t going so well, with us living at opposite ends of the country and with the feelings being of different strengths, we agree to just be friends.

He stayed around for a couple of days after, and left in the early hours of the morning today.

I don;t know what I'm going to do without him. I feel totally lost. It's not just like breaking up with a boyfriend, he was my friend, my lover, the man i wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and above all that, my Master.

I know that I'll survive without him, hell, I'm a grown up responsible teacher type person, but it doesn;t mean i want to survive without him!

How do you cope?

I'm thinking it's either alcohol or screwing around, I hate hangovers, so I'm guessing it's going to be the latter. Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a way to start 2005!

Sorry, I just had no where else to express this. My family don;t know about the D/s, so to them, it's just another boyfreind!

[mastercoyote]

Well... I wouldn't suggest latching onto a "rebound" Master right away, that's for sure.

Maybe when you're not feeling as raw as you probably do now, you might consider some bdsm group functions; just hanging with like-minded folks, maybe doing a scene with someone if you feel the need.

Oh, and buy a REALLY good vibrator to exhaust yourself with on those sleepless nights!

Cheers, and good luck.

[GaryWilcox]

How do you cope?

You take one day at a time. Set a plan, set goals for yourself, and carry them out. Give yourself half the duration of the relationship before you even consider dating. Get a pet. Don't fester indoors-- go outside and do something you never did before, each chance you get.

Pack up all the reminders into two piles, the good and the not so good, and put the good stuff on top of the not so good stuff, so it's always at the bottom of the pile.

Feel as bad or as good as you need to. Cry a lot if it helps. Laugh if it helps, too.

I prescribe movies to my friends after break-ups, and my personal favorite is "Say Anything". Just seems to help me.

[slavelucy]

Ack, that sucks. And, i can understand how you feel, i won't go on about it here though, i PM'd you.

One thing - try not to hit the bottle, the hangovers will make you feel worse and physically crappy..which in turn will make you more down. i can also understand that not having anyone to whom you're close know about your submission makes it v difficult to make anyone understand that it's about a little more than just splitting up with a boyfriend. (er..not that THAT'S not bad enough). And that's what we're here for...*smiles*

Anyway, like i said, i PM'd ya...if you want to reply and chat, feel free, if you don't feel like it, that's fine too.

sl

[BabySub]

Oh hun. ::hugs::

I have to agree with sl, please don't turn to alcohol. That's not a good path to take, and WILL make you feel worse. People have already said what I would have, so all I can say now is to talk about it. Use this thread, pm's, IM's, r/l, anything.. but you need to talk (and all the rest)

Baby, (who wants to hug you tightly.)

[ValKyrie]

It may feel like the carpet has been pulled from beneath your feet, but that feeling will only last a little while. Now is the time to focus on specific and productive goals and to pay some attention to you.

Do things that make you feel good and keep you well and healthy.
Posting here and writing about those feelings and your days, as you slowly get back on your feet may be the biggest support.

It is difficult to go through a break up when you can't openly discuss the dynamics of the relationship you are mourning.

And ditto on the "rebound" Dom. Depending on how you interprate BDSM into your life, you may feel you need to go find another Dom to help you keep focussed and to bring that structure and stability you have had and may crave. Don't do it.


Bring those things to yourself by setting small goals and taking care of at least one thing a day.

Playing is fine, but let those wounds heal on their own without using another Dominant as medicine for the heart.

Many hugs to you,
Val

[NiceMaster]

Well I am sure it's hard on you ,but You will recover.
Just don't jump in and try to find a new master right away.
Give yourself time and even if you can't handle it without him just get back together or you will keep tortouring your soul.

[Venice]

[cut]How do you cope?

:: hugs :: First of all, I'm sorry for your pain. This may or may not help, but when I'm depressed I rent my favorite movies, paint, run and go horseback riding.

Lose yourself in a book, listen to your favorite cds. Maybe you should take up a new hobby, like sculpting or volunteer for a community cause. It won't take away the pain, but it'll be a nice distraction and make you feel good all in all. :: hugs again :: Cheers.

[NaturalSub]

I have discovered a new computer game called Zoo Tycoon, which is helping with the insomnia, I can play that for hours and it takes my mind off of it.
Sadly, I got a message from him earlier on my phone. I was coping quite well, and then I just broke down!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

[Venice]

I have discovered a new computer game called Zoo Tycoon, which is helping with the insomnia, I can play that for hours and it takes my mind off of it.
Sadly, I got a message from him earlier on my phone. I was coping quite well, and then I just broke down!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

That's an addictive game.. as for the call, you should screen your calls. If he calls again, just blow a whistle right into the mouthpiece as hard and loud as you can.