Is it just me or what???

[MrJerseyGuy]

I had a vasectomy at the end of November. That's a whole story in itself. Anyway, last Friday I had a 1pm appointment to drop off a sample to insure that it worked. (Obtaining the sample is yet another whole story) Anyway, I was in my car heading to the doctor's office to drop off my little container. It was a different location than the one where I had it done. I called on the way for exact directions and got the answering service. They told me right where to go and said to look for a red brick building on my right. I arrived shortly and walked in...cup in hand. I placed the cup on the counter and annouced "Here ya go!"

A young girl walked over to me. "May I help you?"

"I have a 1pm appointment to drop off a sample."

"A sample?" She asked. I leaned in a little closer to her and lowered my voice a bit.

"A sperm sample..."

She hesitated.

"Are you sure you're in the right place?"

Go figure...this is exactly the kind of stuff that seems to always happen to me. I was at the McDonalds corporate office. It turns out that the urologist's office was next door but two months ago they refinished the outside and it was now a white building. Needless to say I made a red faced apology, pocketed my cup and hurried out the door.

Moral of the story...

Stay away from the special sauce until the urologist gets his directions straight!

[woodsman'sgame]

Too funny.

[e.e. norcod]

A decade or two ago, one of the course sections I was responsible for in the General Pathology course was entitle "Examination of the Stool Specimen". Needless to say I was in the habit of never transporting the specimen container openly, it was always carried in a brown paper bag. One day on my way to the class, which was always an 8 AM class, I stopped in the cafeteria to get my coffee and dognut, I placed the bag down as I attempted to juggle my papers, large styrofoam cup, glazed dognut and somehow get my wallet back into my pocket. By the time I had my act together someone had walked off with my bag. And it was such a nice specimen, just loaded with Giardia lamblia trophozoites, one of the nicest giardiasis specimens I had ever seen. I guess that was a classic example of a failure to get your shit together.

Actually, ejaculate is one of the nicer biological specimens!

[Finding_Fantasy]

That is too funny!!!

[Curtis]

Yes, it is. And I thought things like that only happened to me. You go, Guy!

[sm4hg]

Well: SHIT HAPPENS!
But I must admit I'm VERY glad neither of it did happen to me.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Another one for the "Embarrassing Moments" thread. Good job, MJG. You're real-life gives us something to laugh at. :rofl:

Oh wait. Did I just say that?

[Domme]

Shortly after my relationship turned full force into Kink, my partner had to go out of town for a few days. she sent me the phone number to her hotel and her room number. Well, I just had to take advantage of the information.

About 10:30 the first night I called, and when the phone was picked up, before she could say anything at all, I told her, "Don't say a word. You will only listen and do as I say. One sound out of you, and I hang up. I'm gone, and you'll just have to wait until you get home."

I paused for a moment, giving her opportunity to object, as is our usual arrangement. When there was none, I gave approval, "Good. Now, I want you to very slowly undress yourself. Do not sit down. Use only your free hand. I want you to unbutton, unzip, and unhook every stitch of clothing you're wearing. I want you to feel your skin as you uncover it. Feel its softness; feel the firmness beneath it. Caress every inch. Squeeze your left breast, then pinch the nipple as hard as you can..." I proceeded to instruct her in great detail what article of clothing to remove and what to do when the body part was exposed.

I could vaguely hear voices and movement in the background as though through a partially open door, and after only a few minutes, my own breathing was as heavy as hers on the other end of the connection. That possibility of discovery just added multitudes to the encounter.

Finally, I had to pause to gather myself in and maintain control, and I asked her softly if she was okay. The only things I heard were heavy breathing, a gulp, then a loud, "Chelle, I think this is for you."

I'd called ten minutes too early. The meeting held in the joint room of the suite hadn't ended yet, and her secretary, who knows me, had taken the incoming call to avoid disturbing the wrap-up.

Needless to say, it was ... interesting ... when I picked Chelle up at her office a few days later. "Ummm...Hello, Terri. Is...um...Chelle in?"

[slavelucy]

Domme - Oh my GOD!!!!!

That is an absolute fucking classic! Both hilarious and cringingly embarrassing.

Clearly your telephone dominant skills are top notch, since the secretary daren't actually say anything when you told 'her' not to say a word. LOL

Welcome to the forums btw, nice to have you with us.

sl

[Nightstriker]

*Read thread.*
:jawdrop:

OMG

*Pauses for a moment and then begins to bounce around for no reason.*

[sayuri]

Lol!

My story isn't that hilarious, but I'll tell it anyway

I study Japanese at the university and was in the middle of a verbal exam with my teacher alone in her room. She is Japanese and typically quite formal in her actions and talking. So I discussed with her about this text I was given and she started to turn more and more reddish, looking like she would burst into tears or laughter any minute. I was wearing, as usual, a shoolgirl outfit with a short skirt and knee-highs and pigtails - and a collar.

Finally she corrected me with one word I was saying wrong all the time, the "landlord" (Japanese characters can be read in several different ways and I had picked the wrong one). It should have been pronounced "ooya" and I said "taika".

Well, I continued and got the exam done, but her reaction bothered me and I went to the library to check if "taika" means something in Japanese.

It means "Master" sexually dominating man. :Omfg: