To all my fellow pupils:

Okay girls we have a problem here, actually we have two problems – no three problems, groan.

Anyway, you remember that ‘special’ drink which the man from the chocolate shop gave us with his last delivery of chocolate. The one where he said that if we all took just one pinch dissolved in a glass of warm water before he sneaked in at night with our orders he would not charge us…..well… Ed Master found it in my locker. I suppose I should have known better than to hide something in my underwear with him around. And he has taken it! Well that is problem number one.

Problem number two is that he thinks it is coffee, not surprising I guess given that it was labeled coffee, but he must have got through 3 spoonfuls of the stuff. Can tell you he looked very weird afterwards, and left swaying muttering things about latex and Fanny Craddock and tarts. (Oh, in case you wondered, I had been having a shower after undertaking a little extra secretarial practice, which is how I came to see this disaster.)

But onto problem three! I have seen the jar on his desk and am quite convinced that he will be serving Dhyanna Cervantes a cup ‘coffee’ when she comes to carry out the inspection. It could be the only time an inspector is inspected, and there is no way with that stuff inside her she will be able to say no.

We have to get that jar back, or there will be no more free chocolate and the report which Ms Cervantes writes, well am sure your guesses are as good as mine…