Quote Originally Posted by Timberwolf
Problem is, I think she's now having trouble taking the Dominant side of me seriously because of this. And I'm worried I've screwed myself, as far as any D/s goes with her (we are also what I would call good friends, that part is not in any jeopardy that I know of).

This is hard for me. Because on one hand persuing a D/s relationship with her is something I want. Badly. Really badly. But on the other, this is the first time I've really looked seriously at getting into something since realizing that I am in fact a switch, and not just a sub (over my first year in online D/s was spent entirely in a sub role). I'm finding it very hard to get in the headspace of doing only one role, or the other, full time all the time.
Wow, deja vu....sort of

Well... the good news is this...you're not screwed
bad news is...you have an uphill battle to fight.
worst news...your biggest opponent in this battle is you.

I'd have to write a book to try to explain what I mean by that, but here are a couple of thoughts and hopefully others will jump in here and add to it, or refute some of it, whatever, and fill in the gaps.

Background: My wife, was a sub before I met her (previous relationship), is a sub by nature. We tried the vanilla lifestyle and it was a train wreck. She has to have a master. And then there's me...the Knothead. Still, I've managed. I had to learn a lot and in my usual fashion, did it the hard way.

First, you are feeling and coming to terms with your Dom side...cool...let it out, let her see it and don't be half-assed about it. I'm not saying, turn into some raging lunatic. I am saying... decide what you want, it's real--a real relationship, so figure out how you want it to work (that is to include her ideals as well).

It's your job to figure out how to get both her and your desires and needs fulfilled. What rules are you going to set in place to achieve these goals? Define them. Explain them clearly to her. Then enforce them, first time and every time. It's not a game.

There's lots of homework involved here and it's not a part-time job either. You will have to be consistent, and above all committed, waffling around will wreak havoc in both of your lives.

Anyway, there are a couple of thoughts. I do not mean to sound discouraging if it came across that way, because it's not meant to be. This is a battle well worth the fight and well worth winning.

I'm sure that there are many here who can jump in with more advice and explain it far better than I'm doing here. I'll add more as I think of it too.

Oh and by the way...all that experience as a sub...just icing on the cake.

Personally, I have a hard time respecting someone who dishes out something they themselves haven't first tasted...but that's just me...

I wish you the best!!

TKH