Originally posted by slavelucy
Firstly, you say "I learned to stop my orgasms on demand"....does this means you ALWAYS did this and never failed?
I did very well at stopping the orgasm. I remember the first time he told me not to cum. I didn't and was very proud of that. I do not recall ever failing to push the feeling away even while he continued the stimulation. I say "push" because that is what I imagined in my mind. I held my breath and pictured myself pushing away something that was between me and my Master.

I too am a very sexual being. I have had "vanilla" lovers that have left because they couldn't keep up with me. I actually need a Dominant person to keep me in check in that area or I will ride somebody to death.

He said the reason he wanted to control my orasms was because it was fun. That is not a bad reason. I think anything a Dominant does should have something to do with them finding it fun. I suppose some people may think that it should also be to enhance the submissive but I leave that to the Dominant to decide.

Why it turned out that I could not cum at all could be a couple of things. One reason is tough to think about, even after all this time but I think someone may learn something from it. Anyway, one time, he accused me of cumming and I didn't. I swore and promised I wasn't lying. I was at his feet begging and crying for him to believe me but he wouldn't. Consiquently I was punished for cumming without permission and lying about it. I swear to you all that I did not cum. I was just enjoying the attention so much that day my reaction was similar to an orgasm.

Another reason may be him not letting me cum for maybe 3 weeks give or take a few days. I would beg and he would say "no" but continue to stimulate me so it may have conditioned me (in some Pavlov way) not to cum. Well, after that long I stopped begging. Not out of spite or anything but because I just started to believe if he wanted me to cum he would say so and my begging was just wrong.

After each of those times it was harder to cum but I still could. Then one day I couldn't and it took so long for me to be able to again. I think it may have been a bit like being so afraid I couldn't that I couldn't. You know?

Anyway, the orgasms are back but I am not with him anymore. The relationship fell apart for many reasons. Although I do not look forward to giving my orgasms away again, I will if asked. The only thing is I will ask that the Dominant discuss this experience with me in detail before we begin.

Karen