Wannabe subs - an undiscussed topic?

[Widget]

I think there are always people who are searching for what they want subs and doms alike. They think they know what they want or how it would feel but when it comes down to it it's not what they really want at all. Some people enjoy playing games online and pretending to be what they are not for many reasons. Welcome to the internet and life.

Its tough for anyone in any type of relationship to weed through the bullshit and figure out what is real and what is not. Its not something limited to subs or doms for that matter. It comes down to your instincts, asking questions and if you don't like the answers say good by and move on.

[Tojo]

Good post Widget.

To me a wannabee sub is a bit of a non-entity. How can you know if you're a sub until you try it? Maybe you go in with the best of intentions & find it's not for you?

Lack of commitment is more of an issue I think.

If both players take it slow & keep their eyes open, realising that it may not work it's so much easier to back out relatively unscathed.

Just my thoughts on a sleepy Saturday arvo...


Tojo

[cookiecat]

as a new "sub" - when i first came here, i suppose i was a wannabe. i probably thought in my head: i wannabe a sub!

i had these submissive feelings & thoughts that i had never acted on & wasn't sure how to proceed. if i had been in a different place in my life - less confident of myself maybe? - i might have "acted" like i thought a sub should act....which is possibly why some new subbies try to jump in feet first.

it can be intimidating - the act of admitting you want to submit to someone & it's so easy to get caught up in all of this....it's intense. especially when you have someone asking you to wear his collar or be owned within a day of meeting. there's a part of you that doesn't want to disappoint!

and it can be scary when - as a newbie - you aren't really sure if what you're doing is right... when i first got here, i saw all these hook ups....someone belonged to another....and i just sort of thought that's how it should be. i remember my first chat room conversation & was asked to wear someone's collar within a few moments. it can be overwhelming. i'm glad common sense told me to proceed with caution.

i'm not sure i'm adding to the conversation...just sort of thinking about how it is to first start out. as in any relationship - especially one that generally becomes intimate quite quickly - both parties have to get to know each other first. talk talk talk. one thing i have gleaned from these forums is to proceed with caution and with knowledge. there is a ton of knowledge here & many many people - both sub & dom - "new" and "old" - who have been very helpful.

[Tojo]

as a new "sub" - when i first came here, i suppose i was a wannabe. i probably thought in my head: i wannabe a sub!

LMAO!

Tojo