I've found it to be a very powerful compulsion...the need for bdsm. The less you get it, the more you want it. You might try writing him a letter with your deepest fantasy described in detail. He might get turned on by that. Some might disagree but I've always found letters a very effective was to communicate with someone I love. Not that you can't talk face to face...but in a letter you get to express and explain your thoughts in detail without being interrupted...and your partner can go back and reread it several times until its clear to him/her.

I've said in several previous posts that I would have a very difficult time going back to a vanilla relationship. I like to think my current relationship is forever, but I'm also realistic...shit happens. I'f I tried to take on a "mainstream" sexual relationship it would be unfair to my partner because I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't be satisfied with it.

Good luck in yours...keep us posted!