I'm neither male nor dominant (sexually, anyway) but I've been through what you're going through. When I decided to enlist, I had to lose fifty pounds to meet my weight requirement. It took a year of working out (two hours a day, five-six days a week) and a diet to lose it. And I tried all the diets, including the cabbage soup diet, which kind of worked. Kind of meaning that I got sick as a dog and lost five pounds that way.

It's hard for men to understand what it's like for a woman, being overweight. You look in the mirror every day and hate what you see. You're uncomfortable, and your self-esteem takes a nosedive. You don't consider yourself attractive enough for anyone's interest. And it's harder for women to lose that weight; our metabolisms are generally slower, and we have more body fat to begin with. The best advice I could give you is to stick with it, and RUN. Running burns off more calories than just about any other exercise. At my best, I was running 15-18, sometimes 20 miles a week. It took a long time to work up to that, though. When I first started, I was running two miles in 40 minutes. There were the shin splints, and the self-consciousness every time I walked onto the track at the gym. It's HARD. One of the hardest things I've ever done, including basic training.

I feel your pain. But from a different angle, losing the weight didn't make me that much happier. Oh, I was proud of it; proud of every new muscle that appeared, proud that I could see my collarbones again, and that my cheekbones sharpened. I LOVED being able to find stylish jeans again. (They just do not make them for anyone above a size 10. God, I hated clothes shopping.) But with all that, you have to be happy and confidant with who you are, not what you look like. Trite, but true. Good luck.

Morrighan