It is a really interesting subject, Lily.

Congratulations on your new budding romance.

I've only had one on-line relationship, and it was filled with deception, but even in hindsight, I realize there was some good in there. I'm not sure if I can offer anything to help you out, but hopefully.

If there's one thing I think the internet and phone conversations offer, is a safe and protected way to express deepness about oneself that wouldn't necessarily be as easy sitting in a cafè. For me, they both promoted a comfort and way to work towards being more open and communicative.

Regarding your concerns, I don't think one is "submissive enough", or "good enough", or "too much work", etc, rather I think it's just like any relationship- do both of your needs and styles match? You may think you're too much work, he may adore that quality within you; You could desire a different level of submission than he can dominate; and so on and so forth.

Finding out is the fun part. A new venture, a new exploration. Good luck and have fun!