Tessa,

I'm with Tom on this one. Dominance can be separated from sex if you want it to be. I can make badlyguidedlittlemis shiver all down her spine in the middle of a pub with one word as long as it's the right word. There are certain little actions that have nothing to do with sex that let her know that she is safe and I've got her. The sex is a whole barrel of fun but there's so much more than that.

cariad,

I'm not convinced it always help to know which box you fit in. I'm not a fan of pigeon holing people since labels tend to be restrictive. If you can use the label but understand that it isn't fixed forever and when the time comes you can leave it behind then fair enough. If none of the labels fit comfortably then don't wear any at all. Just my tuppence worth

DrG