I have to be honest and say that my first reaction on reading this was OH YES! Damned right!

I have never chased after submissives as a matter of policy. I know some refuse to go slave-hunting simply to enhance their image and protect their ego against bruising rejection but, with me, it is simply practical. Them chasing me, begging to be taken on, removes any suggestion that I somehow seduced them into a state of slavery that they would otherwise have rejected in the cold light of day.

Except, when you think about it, this game of kiss-chase is not all that it appears, even in the vanilla world.

My son actually asked me for fatherly advice in that department the other day and I told him what I told a friend many years ago. I said: “If a woman doesn’t want you, you can chase her until you die of exhaustion, but you’ll never get her. If, on the other hands, a woman comes after you, surrender because she will get you in the end by fair means or foul!”

What I hadn’t realised, delivering that speech the first time, was that the woman the guy was asking about was standing at the far end of the bar. She chuckled and gave me a look that said OH YES! DAMNED RIGHT I WILL!

My point is that, in the vanilla world, I have noticed how often women contrive for the man of their choice to chase after them, and I cannot help but notice Dominants of both genders adopting a similar strategy — not asking directly but simply making it known that we would be open to an approach. I guess, even posting here could be seen as ‘subliminal advertising’ of that sort.

I will just add one last thing, though — sometimes you just have to come right out and show interest and ask for what you want. Happily for my son, his current girlfriend just realised that. She’s been sending him signals for weeks, poor girl, but he’s been to nervous to act on them. In the end she just grabbed him and got to it. He is now spending his 20th birthday at her place.