Okay, I've had to ignore some of your suggestions because, taking into account your third point, some of the places you suggested that words should be removed wouldn't make sense if I removed them. Most of those type of suggestions are very helpful, though. Separately, I also noticed, after I had posted this, that there were a few minor word choice changes I could make which would provide a little more variety, in line with another one of the suggestions you made. Coincidently, you didn't seem to have a problem with the one I found, but I'm going to change it anyway. I'll post the edited copy when I finished working with it. Thanks for the suggestions.