It's just, some men pretty much signal what they want to hear. How can you not say it?
It's funny, Rachel, when I replied to your post I was really talking about myself, but you felt I'd hit a nerve with you. Which is gratifying, but I was wondering how I managed to be so clever and insightful!

Being personal again - you'd think your above statement would illustrate the ideal Dom/sub dynamic - Dom signals desire, sub gives him what he desires. But I take your point about flirting. It can be a game that distances the parties involved with premature intimacy which is not authentically gained (although I personally don't quite see it this way - flirting makes me feel alive and connected in a zingy way with a man.)

So, what's the problem with a sub just giving a Dom what he expects? Subs want to do this. Except if you see this as analogous to flirting there's a danger it's a false response which can actually mean that the Dom doesn't really get to know you, and you give yourself superficially in a bit of a void. Personally, I have found a tendency in myself to 'give the Dom what he wants' but it's not always an authentic response from me. I do it to be pleasing but he supposes I gain as much from it as he does. I don't always mind - that's subbing, right? - but I do feel a Dom should know you authentically, base his decisions on real knowledge of you, wisely seeing beyond your desire just to please him.

So, either you find a Dom that understands enough to get proper feedback from you for his own sake as much as yours, and/or, as a sub, you make sure your Dom knows you properly by being honest and speaking up.

Personally I never 'Sir' any Doms on here because I am aware of how easy it is to fall into that trap of sub-like acquiescence that means the Dom actually hasn't a clue who he's really speaking to.

But I like to flirt, which is, I find, a vanilla activity that translates well into the BDSM world.