I can say I am completely 'new'(and new to this forum, finally I found this place phew), in that I am thinking about it, it's always been in my mind at some time or another, but crossing paths with the suitable person has been difficult.So forgive me if I don't make 'sense'.

I'm a person that lives with the believe that there are no 'rules' per se. In terms of BDSM the only rule that would apply to me as a human being would be the one that pertains to safety and respect.

Relationships are dynamic, if a person expresses that they are 'nothing' without their mistress or master, then that is their issue, and their master/mistress' issue. That type of reasoning, or mentality of being 'nothing' often has nothing to do with BDSM and usually relates to other separate issues whose seeds have been sown quite a while back.Unfortunately, people don't resolve these issues, so as people are different, they do get drawn into something that they feel feeds them or satisfies them. If that be some form of BDSM, then power to them, it's their choice, but I think that any 'master' or 'mistress' worth their salt, realises the pitfalls.

I totally agree with the topic/thread and can relate to it, however in terms of people being in relationships that are exclusive I have the following to say.

As I am a 'relationship' person, there is no way I could have a 'relationship', and then have a separate external BDSM relationship with another person. Even though I haven't actively engaged in BDSM I do understand the importance of trust and respect, and to obtain that, people need to understand one another, which is why I don't understand how some people within 'conventional' relationships don't express their desires and instead seek other relationships at the drop of a hat via online chat sites etc. But this is my personal opinion, different strokes for different folks. For me dominance also includes an element of possession, not in terms of a possessing a chatel, but in terms of the person/sub infiltrating the person's soul in that they desire the other person. Likewise for submission. For me to fully submit to my partner he has to override my senses and be 100% comfortable with who he is and his desires and I have to be comfortable as well. Like any relationship, desire plays an important role without it, there is no fulfillment, it's just empty -this is where the 'romantic' aspect comes in.

There is an element of 'romance' in BDSM whichever way it's looked at. People might not see it, or they have a different definition of romance. To me romance is not the Brady Bunch relationship, but is a balance of positive and negative. It's the interplay of pain and pleasure. Wuthering Heights wasn't a 'rosey' tale of saccharine lurve, it was a tale of dominance and submission.