moptop's Assignment 1 proper - finally!

[H Dean]

Yeah, it's fine according to the rules of hoyle. Then again, "irregardless" is in the dictionary too. It doesn't make it sound any better when it's used.

[moptop]

Oh dear. I have been known to use it.

[moptop]

Thank you, Ruby, I'm really glad you were able to find time to reply to this. What you say makes a lot of sense. I do need to be more descriptive. Damn - as well as more succinct; more active; more action oriented; and using more adjectives!

Lordy Lordy. This may take a little time...

[Ruby]

Thank you, Ruby, I'm really glad you were able to find time to reply to this.

Thank you for your patience.

What you say makes a lot of sense. I do need to be more descriptive. Damn - as well as more succinct; more active; more action oriented; and using more adjectives!

Lordy Lordy. This may take a little time...

You can do it!

Meanwhile, are you enjoying writing in the first person?

[moptop]

Oh, yes - I like writing in the first person. Not all the time, but it is fun to do it sometimes. I do find it hard to try to be a man - it is a very useful exercise; and especially useful to get the odd grunt back from some of the men!

[H Dean]

Ah, Ruby, you are so correct in so much of what you say. Your corrections to what I offered were very sound.

*** If someone is writing from the first person, I want them to show me through her actions instead of telling me what she is feeling without any "proof". Consequently, there is some action missing. Eyes flashing and fear and cloud of anger, while being easy to proclaim, haven't been justified by any actions. ***

That, more than anything else is a perfect explanation of what first person narrative should be. It is something I failed at in my re-write.