Does an interest in BDSM indicate a pattern of abuse in earlier life?

[Laila]

Same here, very touchy topic and one that gave me sleepless night in this past year.

Especially because I have these split desires. For one I long for someone to take care of me, to guide me - but not crully or just because of the pain, and not to break me (again...) but to built me up through what we have together.

But then there is also that vanilla thing, that I long for...

Sometimes I just tell myself "Look, Vanilla is your healthy side... the other desires are the sick one..." Like I said, sleepless nights.

At the moment I am at that point where I think I should mix it - like to find someone who also likes both... Guh that is all so confusing!

Another things is that I am kinda repelled from the idea that someone enjoys hurting teh one he loves (or anybody at all for that matter).

I am rambling again...
But I don't think that it must be a result from abuse. Like that crap homosexuality (especially for women) would be.

[slavelucy]

I think what BDSM has done for me, is teach me that my submissive self is beautiful. In effect, it has helped reverse the abuse and freed me from the past. Now I give the power over, not have it snatched away from me. Therein lies the freedom I have never had before in my life.

*temporarily speechless*

tehya - most of your posts continue to leave me in awe of how well you put things. You have essentially said what i have been trying to say for much of this thread (especially the quoted bits), but in a much more succinct manner... and i can't begin to tell you how much i agree with you.

luce x

[tehya]

*temporarily speechless*

tehya - most of your posts continue to leave me in awe of how well you put things. You have essentially said what i have been trying to say for much of this thread (especially the quoted bits), but in a much more succinct manner... and i can't begin to tell you how much i agree with you.

luce x

Luce, hun, you are gonna have me blushing bright red (even though i do look good in red, lol)... It is fortunate to find kindred spirits along lifes travels. That I could put into words what you have been thinking is validation that many of us think alike. And just perhaps, your posts gave inspiration to my words! *smiles*

Master's tehya