CUMMING- Sexually Frustrated and Tired- HELP

[lucky#13]

THANK YOU ALL... it has been very helpful... i will try to be more patient.. but i also know part of my problem is even when they are willing to i feel guilty and fake it b/c they will try sooo hard and long... not to mention a HUGE turn on and part of why i still have sex sooo much is to please my partner... i can definently cum myself but only in one particular way.. with all my weight on my hand and not even any fingers inserted inside me.. complete clitorial stimulation.. there seems to be no other position that has worked for me.. i have tried many others... as for toys i myself have used a few vibrators (not a rabbit though) and like guys when they go down on me i am stuck at the edge but cant go over... it is more torcher then enjoyment which would be fun if i was tormented for a long while but eventually was permitted to cum hehe... anyways the guys i have been with considering they have all been vanilla tend to be scared of using toys.. seeing them as intimidating to their own sexual power.. i have mentioned it a couple of times to them and i always seem to get that weird look like are u fucking kidding me.. excuse the language.. oh pss shayna i am 22 lol... i also dont care how i cum vaginally, clitorially, anally (heard that was possible?).. however i just would like to experience it once.. but i do know patience is probably a big problem for me as well ... once again thank you all.. i really appreciate the advice and if you have anymore please feel free to share it with me

[fetishdj]

THANK YOU ALL... it has been very helpful... i will try to be more patient.. but i also know part of my problem is even when they are willing to i feel guilty and fake it b/c they will try sooo hard and long...

Yes... this is an easy trap to fall into and many women do it. The trouble is that by doing this you do set the bar low. This means that your partners will think that it will always be that easy to get you to cum and so will stop trying after that length of time even if you don't fake it that time in a 'but it worked last time!' sort of way.

My advice would be to let them get on with it and not worry about it. Chances are your anxiety about not cumming is what is impeding you and the longer you worry the less likely you are to cum. Its difficult to do so (I know this because I had to do the same thing) but you need to forget about the orgasm completely - lose yourself in the moment and stop intellectualising the process in a 'oh, if I don't cum soon he's going to get bored' sort of way.

Best way is to become a Domme. You'll then have hundreds of kinky, submissive men begging to let them spend hours servicing you for as long as needed. Some of them will even pay for the privelege and won't expect recipricol orgasms in return

not to mention a HUGE turn on and part of why i still have sex sooo much is to please my partner... i can definently cum myself but only in one particular way.. with all my weight on my hand and not even any fingers inserted inside me.. complete clitorial stimulation.. there seems to be no other position that has worked for me..

Tell your partners what has worked when you are alone and guide them into how to do it. Experiment and play with it until he gets it right.

i have tried many others... as for toys i myself have used a few vibrators (not a rabbit though) and like guys when they go down on me i am stuck at the edge but cant go over... it is more torcher then enjoyment which would be fun if i was tormented for a long while but eventually was permitted to cum hehe... anyways the guys i have been with considering they have all been vanilla tend to be scared of using toys.. seeing them as intimidating to their own sexual power.. i have mentioned it a couple of times to them and i always seem to get that weird look like are u fucking kidding me.. excuse the language..

I understand this fear of sexual inadequecy from your partners (all men feel it, at least initially). You need to find some way to boost their fragile male ego and reassure them that it is not their inadequecy that is causing this problem. [*slightly joking*] maybe you could make it a competition 'oh, no man has ever made me cum. Perhaps you are man enough to do it?'

[lucky#13]

I understand this fear of sexual inadequecy from your partners (all men feel it, at least initially). You need to find some way to boost their fragile male ego and reassure them that it is not their inadequecy that is causing this problem. [*slightly joking*] maybe you could make it a competition 'oh, no man has ever made me cum. Perhaps you are man enough to do it?'

ya i will try that.. lol men need to ball up and not be afraid to compete with something electric.. i will try the competition thing and relax.. and try to instruct them..i suppose mostly i just have to relax... i just get so worked up about it all

[Arria]

i can definently cum myself but only in one particular way.. with all my weight on my hand and not even any fingers inserted inside me.. complete clitorial stimulation..

It is the same with me. Dildos don´t do anything for me. If I want to come on my own, I like to say it takes 98 % head movie (my own imagination) and 2 % handiwork. *lol*

I would not worry so much. I think the "solution" is taking the pressure out of it (if you think you absolutely HAVE to come right now, it will NEVER happen), and trying to find the right guy - that is, a guy you are comfortable with. If you are at all like me, one-night-stands will do nothing for you.

While I was much younger, I got regularly accused of being "frigid" because, well, it all bored me. I used to think something was seriously wrong with me. I also faked orgasms often to spare the guy who worked his arse off the frustration (and me the accusation of being frigid) because I did not come during intercourse.

It turned out what I need is something else. I do not need lots of pain or beatings, but I absolutely need a strong element of dominance AND trust. I belong to the girls who get off on giving a blow-job without touching myself. *lol*
If that element is not present, it simply does nothing for me.
The romantic candle-light dinner, slow music, and long foreplay sort of thing is the most reliable way to turn me off completely.

Only with my hubby who is also my dom I experienced that it´s possible to come during pretty much any action. It was a long process, though. And I should add all sorts of things only started to happen because he never pressurized me, and never felt "hurt" or "insulted" when I did not come... I could speak about my issues with him, and he told me to stop worrying and just start to enjoy myself... and from the moment on I relaxed myself and knew nothing bad would happen if I would not come, I of course DID come. *lol*

As someone else said: If you can come on your own, there is nothing wrong with your physical functions.
And, again, I doubt you will find what you seek with a one-night-stand.

[lucky#13]

It turned out what I need is something else. I do not need lots of pain or beatings, but I absolutely need a strong element of dominance AND trust. I belong to the girls who get off on giving a blow-job without touching myself. *lol*
If that element is not present, it simply does nothing for me.
The romantic candle-light dinner, slow music, and long foreplay sort of thing is the most reliable way to turn me off completely

Yes i also think a lot to do with it is i have not effectively been completely turned on. Rarely is my need of domination ever fulfilled.. and a lot of the times i get the assholes that just sit there and expect me to do all the work.. and i am the same way i am pretty sure romantic candle-light dinner, slow music, fore play would make me want to vomit

Only with my hubby who is also my dom I experienced that it´s possible to come during pretty much any action. It was a long process, though. And I should add all sorts of things only started to happen because he never pressurized me, and never felt "hurt" or "insulted" when I did not come... I could speak about my issues with him, and he told me to stop worrying and just start to enjoy myself... and from the moment on I relaxed myself and knew nothing bad would happen if I would not come, I of course DID come. *lol

ya I know part of my problem is i need to find a regular partner i can feel comfortable enough with that i can work with him to help me cum.. sadly where i live unless i want boys with no teeth their are slim pickings jk LOL

As someone else said: If you can come on your own, there is nothing wrong with your physical functions.

LOL sometimes i wish their was.. a lil surgery .. bam i can cum from any guy haha

[TwistedTails]

i also dont care how i cum vaginally, clitorially, anally (heard that was possible?)

Hmm perhaps an all day "button" pushing session with the right person is in order?

Really though, why not just get the fingers into the action too? Just watch those fingernails on the downstroke!

[lucky#13]

Once again THANK YOU ALL SOOO MUCH.. i really do appreciate and enjoy the advice

[lucky#13]

Hmm perhaps an all day "button" pushing session with the right person is in order?

Really though, why not just get the fingers into the action too? Just watch those fingernails on the downstroke!

well i have been double penetrated once the only problem i was black out drunk and dont remember it.. i had to be told the next morning.. i wonder if maybe all three areas were to be utilized at once if i would be able to cum