Dom/mes, Masters, Mistresses, slaves and subs, where is your pride?

[StormKat]

The online community is something that is sorely misjudged every day in physical society ... Yet, through immature behavior, we constantly invalidate the viability of our virtual community as a social medium.

It appears that you care very deeply what opinions others hold of you & your choice to spend time in an online community such is this one. Do you feel you're judged negatively by keeping virtual company with the people here? Perhaps it's because I'm very selective of those whose opinions matter but I don't put much stock in what people who don't know me think about me. If someone forms a perception of who I am based solely upon time spent in an online forum, they are welcome to do so, with little impact on my life at all.

To those of us on top: Where is your pride? Where is your honor? Every day, I watch submissives misbehave on this site as though they had no leadership at all... Their behavior is a reflection of our honor, our leadership, and our training. Yet there are those of us who sit idly by and find humor in such behavior, forgetting that we are constantly evaluated and judged by our more honor-bound peers. Do we think that we are islands unto ourselves that can withstand the reputation which comes with allowing an unruly sub or slave to even access the internet and embarrass us? Have we no shame at all anymore?

My pride and my honor are completely intact, yet I feel no need to impose my view of "proper" behavior on others not under my direction. These individuals act in accordance with the guidelines agreed upon in their relationships, which will each vary in terms of expectations & consequences. As far as someone "more honor-bound" evaluating me - what right have they to judge any relationship but their own? And why would their opinion matter to me in the least? It's just an opinion, which everyone is entitled to & most people freely express.

For those of you who wear the collars... where is your pride in your Master or Sir? Would you so willingly disrespect him to his face? If not, then how can you come on here, representing his values and his teachings, and violate them so willingly by misbehaving and then hiding behind your collar .. What happened to the training? What happened to the lessons that were learned on the receiving end of a whip, paddle, or a hand ... you have a responsibility to uphold the teachings you were given in all that you do. You have a responsibility to uphold the honor of the person for whom you wear that collar. These are responsibilities that some of you fall terribly short in meeting.

I have no doubt that my minion will uphold my honor - and I will be the one to judge if any "misbehavior" has occurred, not someone who knows neither of us nor the parameters of our relationship. The only one to whom he owes respect is me - not any other random person on the Internet or in real-life who grants himself or herself a title. Respect is earned, not just passed out because of a claim to dominance.

Also, I would place no restrictions on his right to express his own opinions or to speak his mind in a forum such as this. The Library is a site for the open exchange of ideas, for the asking of questions & seeking of insight. Why would I limit his ability for self-expression in this environment, as long as he does not violate the posted rules?

[The Lord Winter]

It appears that you care very deeply what opinions others hold of you & your choice to spend time in an online community such is this one. Do you feel you're judged negatively by keeping virtual company with the people here? Perhaps it's because I'm very selective of those whose opinions matter but I don't put much stock in what people who don't know me think about me. If someone forms a perception of who I am based solely upon time spent in an online forum, they are welcome to do so, with little impact on my life at all.

It does appear that way, doesn't it? Seems I have been a bit misleading in that regard, but I digress. It is not about being judged negatively or positively. There are those that we could bend over backward in our attempts to please and still they would look down their noses, yet neither is that the point of this thread. In truth, until recently, I've said very little on the boards, giving little of myself for anyone to form an opinion on, except for the handful of friends I've made on the boards in my time here.

The purpose of this thread is to ask of the basic manners one would expect anyone to display: Where have they gone?

My pride and my honor are completely intact, yet I feel no need to impose my view of "proper" behavior on others not under my direction. These individuals act in accordance with the guidelines agreed upon in their relationships, which will each vary in terms of expectations & consequences. As far as someone "more honor-bound" evaluating me - what right have they to judge any relationship but their own? And why would their opinion matter to me in the least? It's just an opinion, which everyone is entitled to & most people freely express.

As I stated in my original post, I was not speaking to the unowned/uncollared majority. I am referring to the willful ones that Archeon tagged quite efficiently as playing the "you can't control me in chat, so you're weak" game.

I have no doubt that my minion will uphold my honor - and I will be the one to judge if any "misbehavior" has occurred, not someone who knows neither of us nor the parameters of our relationship. The only one to whom he owes respect is me - not any other random person on the Internet or in real-life who grants himself or herself a title. Respect is earned, not just passed out because of a claim to dominance.

As I agreed with Dawg, respect is earned, I agree with you here also. but I speak not to respectfulness, but to manners and courtesy. It is, in some areas of the site, chat included, sorely lacking.

Also, I would place no restrictions on his right to express his own opinions or to speak his mind in a forum such as this. The Library is a site for the open exchange of ideas, for the asking of questions & seeking of insight. Why would I limit his ability for self-expression in this environment, as long as he does not violate the posted rules?

Again, it isn't about speaking one's mind or restricting the expression of opinions, but of doing so in a well-mannered and courteous context. If we expect such behavior of our charges offline, why not carry it online when this social medium is becoming more and more of an integral part of our daily lives?

[Ozme52]

The purpose of this thread is to ask of the basic manners one would expect anyone to display: Where have they gone?

Perhaps you, or those you have watched, did not themselves show appropriate online manners...

I don't spend a lot of time on chat, but when I do, I never have had to deal with rude or bad manners, not more than once.

It's sort of a 'reap what you sow' venue.

[The Lord Winter]

Perhaps you, or those you have watched, did not themselves show appropriate online manners...

I don't spend a lot of time on chat, but when I do, I never have had to deal with rude or bad manners, not more than once.

It's sort of a 'reap what you sow' venue.

Agreed on both points.

I spend a bit of time in chat, but mostly as an observer, or chatting in PM's with friends. I can't say that I've caught the kind of attitude that I'm describing, but seeing it pop up is something that has set me wondering about the situation, however.