New Domme

[Jennifer Williams]

As I said, I just phrased it badly. Illusion was a poor choice of words; what I was trying to say was this: my sub likes to be tied up on the floor, I prefer him tied to the bed posts (mmm...so sexy). Some days I'm going for my pleasure and he gets tied to the bed. Other days, my real goal is his pleasure, so I will tie him up on the floor- but I don't say "Let's do things your way today and I'll tie you on the floor", no, he'd go soft in ten seconds and probably cry, if I said that. Instead I'll say "You don't deserve a nice soft bed, get your ass on the floor under Mistress's feet, where you belong." And then he gets nice and hard and his ears get all red and that does please me, plenty! So it's not the activity (where he's tied) that matters as much as his mindset (believing that absolutely everything I do is always for my own selfish pleasure, when that is not quite always true).

I do hope that makes it more clear!

[chuck]

So it's not the activity (where he's tied) that matters as much as his mindset (believing that absolutely everything I do is always for my own selfish pleasure, when that is not quite always true).

I know I'm splitting hairs here, but I think they are important. I find it interesting your answer in the parentheses still revolves around an untruth. Despite your protest, illusion is a good word for it. It has its place in roll play.

In your floor example, wouldn't it be more honest to simply say: "I'm tying you on the floor," it's a done deal. You just chose to do it and you have no need to justify your choice. If he knows you dislike it and you feel the need to justify it, it seems like false reasons (like he doesn't deserve the bed) ring hollow. Closer to the truth might be: "I'm going to reward you (or do you a favor) and tie you to the floor." If you feel he needs to feel power from you, wouldn't a threat of: "Enjoy it. You're going to pay dearly for the privilege," be just as effective?